Why am I angry at the Canadian Government but not my ex?

Summary:

  • Two independent doctors of psychology have concluded that my ex has mental health issues. Which makes her incapable of seeing the full extend of her actions. Nevertheless, her actions are not acceptable and I will not tolerate the abuse my child is going through.
  • The Canadian Government has betrayed my trust in them at every turn and instead of protecting my innocent daughter from a mentally ill mother, they organized and funded her kidnapping.

During our reconciliation efforts, we hired a doctor of psychology as our counselor. I let my ex pick our counselor because I didn’t want to give her the excuse later on that I picked a biased one. But I put one condition forward that we were going to do whatever this person says to the letter in order to save the relationship and provide a loving environment for our daughter.

She did her research and concluded that Dr. Richard Harrison was the best in town. I did not question her choice even once and accepted her pick. Indeed, after shortly I met Dr. Harrison, it was clear that he was a very smart and observant man.

After quite a few sessions (probably over 10) with Dr. Harrison, we felt that we’d reached the end of the list of the topics to discuss and asked him to give us his judgement; who was guilty of what exactly, and how we could fix the relationship.

You had to be there to see his body language… Dr. Harrison immediately turned to my ex and said “You need to start taking medication immediately to control your anger and anxiety issues.”. It was obvious that he was waiting for the moment to take that off of his chest.

There was this silence for a moment and then I jumped in and asked what was my share of the problem and what I should have done to fix it. He dismissed my question with a hand gesture that I took as “You have already done everything you could, you poor fool.”, and that was the end of it. There were no further remarks from him about my part.

Then there was my personal therapist -yes, my ex’s behavior was so out there that I doubted myself eventually and needed external validation-, whose name I cannot remember at the moment. She listened to my story and then the audio recordings of a few of our discussions with my ex; how she would contradict herself continuously to win an argument that has no point, an argument that she started and wouldn’t drop. Her assessment was clear, my ex was suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That was my suspicion too and hearing this from a Dr. of psychology firmly validated it.

My ex, being a narcissist, refused the medication recommendation of Dr. Harrison and declined to follow up with a psychiatrist. And that was the end for me. I did not see any light at the end of the tunnel and decided that pushing things further would only bring harm to our daughter and did not want to continue the relationship.

Dealing with a narcissist, things only got worse after that point of course, but that’s another story.

My ex is a bad person. Her values are corrupt, she is violent, manipulative and many other things. But knowing that she is mentally ill and in need of medication to be a normal human being, I cannot be angry at her for every single thing she has done to me. I really don’t care anymore after all this time passed, anyway. But my daughter is another story. I know she will never forgive her for what she has done to her when she understands what’s going on.

Having said that, my forgiveness doesn’t mean that I will tolerate any of her behavior. Indeed, I have absolutely zero tolerance for such behavior and that is why I insist at the courts that correction and rehabilitation must be forced on to her since she refuses treatment herself. (Imagine that, what would you do if a doctor of psychology recommended you to take medication in order to be a better person? Would you not do it for your infant child if not for yourself or anybody else?)

The Canadian Government, on the other hand… They are the perpetrator; they are the villain of my story. They have betrayed my trust in them and raped almost all the basic rights myself and my daughter has at every turn, at each step possible. From breaking the contract in immigration matters to framing with a crime I did not commit to forcing me to unemployment and starvation while I had a baby to support. From sexism they practice at their courts to helping kidnapping of my daughter by her mentally ill mother to denying my basic right to a fair court process. From refusing the evidence that proves my innocence to preventing my right to go to court to seek justice to not only allowing but also encouraging the abuse of my child, almost every child of Canada whose parents go through divorce.

They are racist, they are sexist, they are rapist, they are child abusers, they are torturers, they are criminals. I will never forgive them for what they have done to my daughter and will do my best to save this country’s children from their negligence, their misconduct, and violation of basic human values. I am hoping that there is a decent human being at the parliament who is seeing these and willing to take action by siding with the innocent.

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