I haven’t seen my daughter for 3 and a half years, and won’t be able to see her for the foreseeable future. Because:
This is the highly cut-down version of a very complex story, the story of 7 years of constant abuse, torture, struggle for justice and trying to save my daughter from parent-inflicted abuse; moreover, I am not a good storyteller. Hence, I will certainly miss many important aspects of the story in this text but I want to make one thing clear: I am not guilt-free, I made mistakes, a ton of them. But only mistakes that took root from my lack of knowledge of the court procedures and nothing more. Mistakes that keep me awake late at night even today, mistakes that I will bear the guilt and embarrassment of for a lifetime, the biggest of them were trusting the Canadian Government and being arrogant enough to think that I wouldn’t be fooled by a narcissistic megalomaniac, just like my father did. But I never committed a crime, not by any fair standard. Certainly not any crime which deserves even the fraction of the endless punishment I have been subjected to by the Canadian Government. My daughter certainly did not deserve any of this. Here it goes:
They made false promises.
Despite having some complaints, I was living a good life in Europe as a globally highly sought after 28 years old professional. Around 2010, my back-then employer invited me to Canada to help them assist filling in the competence gap in their local workforce. The biggest selling point they were offering was the promise of the Canadian Government about starting a new and better life in Canada, a life free from discrimination (which was my biggest concern in Europe). They were putting forward certain conditions to be eligible for that promise, and based on what was in the law back then, I was meeting those conditions with ease. Long story short, I believed in the Canadian Government’s promise and took the offer by abandoning my good life in Amsterdam.
They criminalized me on false grounds with their racist and sexist law enforcement and then denied my right to provide evidence to prove my innocence.
After a couple of years in Canada, I started a family here by continuing believing in the promise, and the first thing the Canadian Government did was to frame one of the most embarrassing crimes of domestic violence on me. I call it “framed” because of the police’s clear racial discrimination against me while handling the case; and the fact that the Canadian Government does not allow me to produce evidence to prove my innocence in the case to clear my name, to this date.
They broke their promise and forced me to unemployment.
While dealing with all that, I also had to deal with my immigration process to ensure that I could stay in the country. Right before I could finish gathering the mountain of documents they asked for my permanent residency application, the Canadian Government broke the contract by changing their immigration law, and put me into an ineligible position for a permanent life here. The fact that I already had a child, a child who wasn’t even 2 years old, did not matter. They simply denied my right to work and ask me to leave the country because I did not fit the bill anymore.
They forced me to make a choice between abandoning my child and bearing starvation and homelessness.
I kept fighting of course, I fought to stay with my daughter because I knew that if I left the country it would have taken me years to come back. Which meant abandoning my infant child and leaving her with a mentally ill (doctor assessed), abusive and morally corrupt (by universal standards) mother.
I reduced my cost of living to the point of being homeless for a while and starving myself, so that I could remain in the country for as long as I could and buy food for my daughter when I had her with me. So that my daughter could have what she needed the most at that age: the irreplaceable care and love of both her parents to grow up to be a wholesome adult without feeling abandoned.
They forcefully separated me from my infant child and gave her to the care of an unfit mother.
My fight to stay in the country had to come to end eventually of course. And it happened when a judge ordered me to pay the last cent in my pocket to my ex and forced me to leave the country by telling me that me leaving the country was better for my daughter (See the “Compound Discrimination” post for more details.). He said that I was being a bad father by not providing for my daughter. Let that sink in for a moment… First, the Canadian Government denied my right to work and then they told me that I was being a bad father by not providing for my family…
They breached their own privacy laws and released misleading information.
After they forced me to leave their country, I found a job as a manager at a global tech company and I started providing for my daughter from abroad. I was also saving money to hire an immigration lawyer to deal with the unjust decision of the Canadian Immigration Office. However, the Canadian Government wasn’t done with me yet: they released misleading information to a background check company and cost me my hard-found job, financial stability and my only chance to get back to my daughter.
They violated the international laws by denying to enforce court orders and my daughter’s right to stay in touch with me.
Then, when my mentally ill former wife started to act against the existing court orders and abuse my daughter even further by not allowing her communication with me, they both refused to enforce the court orders by telling me that I had to make an in-person complaint at a police station, and then denied my visa application to do so. Needless to say, this is against the international laws they swore to abide by.
They threatened me when I attempted to expose the crime publicly.
Then, when I acted on the matter myself in desperation by publicly exposing the crime, they threatened to criminalize me by sending their police force after me.
They organized and funded kidnapping of my daughter.
Then, when I insisted on going after my infant child, they actively and willingly helped a mentally ill criminal kidnap and abuse my daughter.
They refused my right to a fair legal process.
They refused my visa application to attend their courts to seek justice. Moreover, while refusing my entry to the country, the Canadian Government made orders that took my parental rights away. They took my parental rights away in the motions that I either wasn’t served for at all or wasn’t allowed to attend myself, I wasn’t able to hire professional help for due to long ongoing forced unemployment, and I was denied legal assistance for. This is the just and fair Canadian Government for you, this is the Canadian Justice System for you! Or rather the Justice If-You-Can-Get-It System!
[In the name of keeping this brief, I am skipping a ton of -at least two movies worth of- very emotional, very depressing and full of action (such as fighting an army, for real) content here.]
They keep refusing my right to a fair legal process.
After not being able to see my daughter for two years, I took a CTO position at a very small Canadian tech consulting company (small enough to not do any background checks) in order to be able to get back to Canada. And here I was again, back to the land of the just and kind…
The first thing I did was to hire a law firm with the small amount of money I could save working abroad. Simply put, this law firm (Feldstein Family Law, https://www.separation.ca/) scammed me out of that small amount of money I had and left me naked in the deadly Justice System of Canada. (Stay away from those blood-sucking leeches at all costs!)
I kept fighting the legal system alone and made a ton of procedural mistakes initially. This allowed my ex to hire a more competent lawyer and play all the games she possibly could, with the constant, dedicated help of the willing Canadian Government.
The Canadian Government kept stepping up their game and found me in contempt of the court orders -that were made in motions that I was not allowed to attend by their immigration office- based on the fact that I could not pay much child support during the time I was forced to unemployment by them, and that I had violated no-contact orders by trying to get in touch with my daughter after they had organized and funded kidnapping of her.
They keep abusing my daughter.
Now, after fighting and “surviving” the forced unemployment, homelessness, starvation, humiliation, indignification, dehumanization, an army (yes, an actual army) and three governments, I am back to their country to seek justice for my daughter and myself. They tell me that I am a bad father because I did not provide for my daughter for almost 3 years. Now, they tell me that I cannot get justice because I did not appeal to the court orders in time while their immigration office actively prevented my entry to the country. Now, they tell me that I cannot get justice because I wasn’t knowledgeable enough about their nonsensical “justice” system and court procedures (not the law, but the procedures). Now they want to criminalize me by telling me that I did not follow the court orders by refusing to accept the orders they made illegally in the motions I wasn’t served for or wasn’t allowed to defend myself in. Now, they want to force me to leave their country again by imposing impossible financial restraints. Now, they tell me that I cannot see my daughter for the foreseeable future, without any reason! Without absolutely any reason!
I wish I was alone.
In short, this is a racist, sexist, rapist, child-abusing, torturing, immigrant exploiting, monstrous government. And I am not their only victim. I met so many who had gone through at least some of what I have. I met so many whose children have been repeatedly abused by this government.
I have no choice.
They left me no choice but to take it to the Canadian Public and ask for their sympathy. Because, I know that they feel my pain. Every single Canadian out there, man or woman, who has heard only a fraction of my story cannot help but share my anger against this rouge government, and express their will to help in any way they can. They know that so-called the Justice System of this country is corrupt and nothing more than a political tool, and someone has to stand up to it.
I have no choice but to fight this system, not because I have the delusion of grandeur, but because I am desperate.
This is bigger than me, bigger than my daughter.
Some of you might imagine how hard it is for me to admit that any cause in this world is bigger than my own daughter. But the fact is that, even if I get justice for myself and my daughter, I cannot give up this fight. How can I go to bed and have a good night’s sleep by knowing that there are children out there being abused by this monstrous government, by knowing that there are parents who have been separated from their children for no reason other than the lethargy, incompetence and bias of this government? How can I see the tears of a child asking for her father and being shutdown by an unfit parent -a parent who abuses her own child and gets away with it- and do nothing about it?
Fathers of Canada:
The ones who will not fight for their children: you don’t deserve your children! You are the reason why this country’s children get abused by this government for long years, over and over again. If you keep shying away for your children and don’t redeem yourselves, I will fight for your children too, so that they know they have someone out there who is not going to give up on them, who is willing to be a father to them.
Mothers of Canada:
The good ones, the ones who will not put their own interests before their children: know that this fight is not only for my child. Know that that boy you keep high above anything else will grow up one day and meet someone who can take from them what hey love the most. If you do nothing, when that happens, you will bear the guilt of complacency.
Children of Canada:
I don’t have much left, and there is not much of me left. But if you find me, if you write to me, whatever I have left, whatever is left of me is yours. If you want, I’ll help you find your father; if you want, I’ll be your father. And together we will fight the monsters that took your father away. Keep smiling, because that’s the only thing that makes this world going.